An early Mother's Day

For over a decade, I taught Dutch game art students to draw, make CG models, and write research papers. Along the way, I also taught them about Anatomy, Civil Engineering, Industrial Design, and Architecture. Before that, I worked in Hollywood, making special effects for major films (Spider-Man, Space Jam, Daredevil) and video games. In the midst of all that strenuous work, my wife, Kitty, was always there, helping me accomplish my goals.

In the Netherlands, I had to get up at 6:30 to get to work on time. That meant Kitty had to wake up a little earlier to get my breakfast ready and my lunch packed. The closet was always stocked with clean and pressed shirts, and sometimes new ones I’d never seen before. As I ate my breakfast, Kitty worked on our daughter’s breakfast and lunch. Then, we each got on our bicycles and rode to school.

Meanwhile, Kitty’s day had also just begun. She dealt with our bank account, local tradesmen to make repairs, shopping (all done on an “omafiets” or granny bike), laundry, and every other chore associated with running a household.

By the time I got home, everything was in order for the end of the day, and preparation for the next.

When we lived in Hollywood, Kitty knew how stressful my job was, so she encouraged me on my many painting trips to the mountains of California, Arizona, and Nevada. She bought the art supplies, made my lunch, and sent me on my way with a smile. I got my hiking done, a few paintings made, and was always greeted with appreciation for the art when I returned home.

My career was our career. Certainly I had a lot to do with it, but so did Kitty. She made my work as easy as it could be, regardless of circumstances. It seems to me that for some jobs, you almost have to be married or you’d never be able to get the work done. Or, even if you could, your home would be a disaster.

Kitty started her career as a storyboard artist before we met, and continued it for a few years afterward. She worked in the advertising business and was well-liked there. She’s a good artist herself, and a fantastic cartoonist. However, she said to me a few times that, “I always only wanted a happy family life. But I went to Barnard (Columbia) and they want everyone to be a CEO or something. It made me feel unambitious to not want a business career.”

Modern media and entertainment have an unmistakable focus on encouraging young women to do anything with their lives other than managing a household. They do their best to demean that type of life, no matter how necessary, beneficial, and pleasant it can be.

I don’t know how my life would have turned out if not for Kitty, but can say it would have been different. Apart from my ability to work free of domestic concerns thanks to her labors, she even did me a favor spiritually as well. When we met, I was an atheist and she was a Christian. Over time, we talked, and she very quietly exposed me to a different way of looking at the world. One that was better than my worldview at the time, and that eventually led me to be baptized and to start attending church regularly.

Yesterday, I watched a number of Democrat women attending President Trump’s speech at the joint session of congress. They wore pink to highlight their support for abortion and other things utterly alien to most people. They disrespectfully made noise to interrupt President Trump’s speech, scowled in anger, and behaved in most unlady-like fashion. It was repugnant.

Women on the other side of the aisle behaved with decorum. As I watched the two sides, how they behaved, and the values I knew each side represented, I couldn’t help thinking how lucky I am to be married to such a good person. I also couldn’t help thinking that America is better served when our men and women strive for health and goodness first, without ambition for personal acclaim or empty accomplishment.

There are many such unsung heroes, unsung in part because our culture has dramatically changed over the last seventy years. It wasn’t always like this. I have books, magazines, and comics from before the 1960’s, all of which celebrated the work women did, even if it wasn’t always in an office. And when it was (as has always been the case), the work wasn’t celebrated as an emulation of manhood, but of good and necessary work performed by a competent individual.

So, to all those women who feel underappreciated because our media demeans the honest work of maintaining a household, the failure of woke media is fast approaching, and there is a growing realization that pushing people into inappropriate career paths wasn’t a good idea. Sometimes, it’s perfectly natural, but to expect everyone to want the same thing; pant suits, a CEO title, and millions of dollars a year, is unreasonable.

As Kitty just reminded me, “people are more important (than jobs) because your treasure is in heaven.”